jordan’s journal

I turned twenty-one in November, one year into my 20’s (or maybe two i’m not sure) and I’m over it. Why did society decide it was acceptable to give you a dish of all the possibilities of where your future might be, and you have to decide all that you want at age eighteen. I have never been the person to know what they want to do for a career at a young age. Ten year old me wanting to be a marine biologist might disagree, but that is how I have always felt. When they make you take your career tests at school I always got: Actor, singer, band director. Although the possibility of the first two seem exciting, they seem impossible unless you started young or have money. One year I got “Pirates Crew.” I should’ve taken that suggestion and RAN. Not only do you have to decide what you want your future to look like, you have to find who you are.

You think you know who you are? You are wrong. Or at least that’s how I’ve felt. Everyday I think I know something, it turns out I don’t. I want to know the style of clothing I want to wear, but I don’t know how to execute that or I don’t have money for the clothes to make myself happy. I want to know what my “brand” is, and so do my advertising class professors. When I started my classes and an assignment to figure out your “brand” came up, I was scared. I don’t know what my “brand” is. If I knew how people viewed me or what persona gave off, I would be less self conscious probably. Or not, maybe it would make it worse.

I don’t even know if any of this makes sense. Every one seems to have this motto of “the 20’s are the greatest! Your college years will stick with you forever!” Frankly, I’m not seeing it. However, these years with definitely stick with me because if they don’t, i’ll have to start from ground zero. I don’t mean to be a downer. I just really am trying to get through it. I’m sure I will, right?